The Perpetual Bodhi Tree
” Awareness is empowering” – Rita Wilson
I am tired. Exhausted to be more specific. I like to point my weary finger at caffeine withdrawals but the truth is my Being is in withdrawal. I am a believer in signs. Recently on a trip out to the Oregon Coast I stopped at a bookstore where I saw a book of answers. “Well, I have a question!” I thought as I took the book off the shelf and placed it between my hands. With my eyes closed, I asked my question. This book of answers told me to relax, have faith, and lay low for a bit.
Awareness, like anything else, takes time. Just today, I told my dearest friend “wherever you are, create the life you want to live.” Yet, like most people, I dish out the good to others, dream about the life I want, and then stumble when it comes time to mold my dreams with the clay in my hands. In the shower today, I not only realized I was procrastinating writing this piece, I became acutely aware that I was doing everything in my power to avoid the life I want. With the sudden knowledge that comes from awareness, I was faced with a decision 1) do something about it or 2) let me dreams dry out as I continue to live my life as it is now.
Does this sound familiar to you? Do you avoid the life you want by eating, fidgeting, cleaning, fill in the blank? We all do it but through awareness we become cognizant of the small ways we self-sabotage. Yet, what is the point of awareness if we do nothing to change our situation? In my experience I never experience awareness without a degree of turbulence. For me, the two co-exist. Even in yoga class, we come into a pose and as we draw our attention and focus to parts of our body, those parts come alive. For example, when I become aware that in trkonasana, triangle pose, that despite my steadiness, I am actually locking my knee and hanging in my joints. To counter this, I soften my knee, engage my quadriceps and suddenly my front legs shakes, my breath wobbles, turbulence has come in as I re-adjust to develop a steady mind and body in this new, aligned trkonasana.
Awareness and turbulence propel us into action. When we realize we are not happy in a relationship, job, or in our current life situation, we usually become hyper-aware of our feelings toward the particular situation until either 1) we change it or 2) it is change for us. When we become aware of who we are, our desires, our boundaries, we gain clarity, Clarity creats an openness in our minds to see without the obscure veil. We clearly can evolve to focus and through focus we funnel into action. When we act with full clarity focus and awareness, we evolve from heart into the life we want.