Kimi Marin Yoga

Honor limitations. Transcend Boundaries.

Archive for the month “December, 2012”

The Scarcity Fear

Prosperity_On_RockWeekly Mantra: “I release my belief in scarcity. I release my need to worry. I embrace the grace, peace, and abundance I am”

The other day,  I had coffee with a girlfriend whose business is organizing people’s homes and removing clutter from their lives. I told her that I have a kitchen cupboard so full of stuff that I don’t even open it. She replied that our homes are often reflective of the emotional and mental clutter we store in our bodies. Many of us get so bogged down, so crammed full of baggage that we no longer open up parts of ourselves.

In the fear of scarcity, we hoard. We hoard our emotions, our food, and our friends. We hold on in fear that if we give them away we will have nothing. We panic when we are out of food, low on money, or not successful by society’s definition. In his book The Psychology of Influence of Persuasion, Robert B. Cialdini claims  “…people seem to be more motivated by the thought of losing something than by the thought of gaining something of equal value” (238). We don’t clean out our fridge, cupboards, closets, or hearts because we believe that the fullness makes us feel safe, content, or complete. Yet many of us don’t feel safe, content, or complete.

Global activist Lynne Twist says there are three toxic myths which perpetuate the fear of scarcity:

1) “There isn’t enough”

  • You don’t have enough sleep, not enough sex, exercise or money. This is a very limiting view that forces us to focus on everything we don’t have exacerbating a feeling of inadequacy, helpless, and a culture of blaming – of projecting our circumstances on an outside object. Instead of focusing your attention where there isn’t enough, ask yourself: Where do you have enough? What is satisfying in your life?

2) “More is better”

  • When we believe more is better, we constantly push ourselves to make more, get more, be more. We can always think how great things would be with more sleep, more money, more friends…yet, with the “more is better” attitude we will never be happy. There will always be “more” of something. Instead, find what is perfect in your life as it is now. Where in your life is abundance?

3) “That’s just the way it is”

  • This myth creates feelings of helplessness and hopelessness which lead people to feel resigned to the current situation. Lynne Twist reminds us that this myth ignores the fact that economic and social systems are the way they are because people created them this way. What you have created, you can recreate.

In order to let go of the fear of scarcity, we must understand that collaboration creates prosperity: “The more compassion we generate, the bigger our mind becomes. Since compassion brings joy, it makes us happy” (Mipham 110). Through compassion, giving, opening up ourselves we begin to grow outside our preconceived limits. We can transcend the boundaries we have created. We can open our hearts and our minds. When we act selflessly we are moving with the belief that there is enough, recognizing the abundance already present in our lives, and creating a world that brings more joy into our lives.

References:
Caldini, Robert. B. Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion. HarpersCollins, 2006. Online.
Mipham, Sakyong. Ruling Your World. New York: Doubleday, 2005. Print.
Twist, Lynne. The Soul of Money. New York: Norton & Co., 2003. Online.

SITES OF INTEREST:
Lynne Twist’s website: www.soulofmoney.org
Click here: A great site explaining the yoga sutras
Article “Deepak Chopra on Abundance: How to Cultivate the Feeling that You Have ‘Enough'”

The Blame Game

In my last post I touched upon the concepts of steady effort, abhyasa, and letting go, vairagya, and how yoga is the practice of finding a balance between these two concepts. The second sutra defines yoga as the ability to focus the mind towards an object without distraction. The object is our intention, our dharma (path), our true nature and distractions are all the sensations, dramas and joys of our life. One of these distractions is the act of ‘blame’.

How many times have you blamed someone else for your mistakes? How many times have you used the blame game as an excuse: The other driver was slow? If I was younger…? If I was older…? If my boss wasn’t such a jerk?  When we blame, we lose authority over our own mind, we give over are confidence, compassion, and power. We become the victim. When we blame we lose confidence that we are intrinsically full of goodness and replace it with an outward projection of jealousy, anger, and insecurity. By blaming we attach our irritation and negativity to an outside source and as like attracts like, negativity breeds negativity.

When we blame others for our own suffering, inconveniences, or emotions, we are “creating narrow perimeters into which everything must fit” (Mipham, 95). We are making our world and ourselves smaller. Instead of redirecting the blame to ourselves, we can use these strong emotions to become self-aware. In a situation where blame may arise, with self-awareness, we can begin to notice what we attach blame to, how our mind immediately starts to criticize, and begin to notice how we participate in our circumstances.

With self-awareness, you see the choices and options available to you, you become your own ruler.  You are “breaking free” from limited boundaries and the “preconception of how things ought to be” (97). With self-awareness, as feelings of discomfort first begin to arise consider it direct communication with your highest Self (Kempton, pars. 1).  Before you begin to blame or find fault see if you can recognize the feelings that are arising and dig to the root of the situation. Use this as  a time of self-empowerment and a reconnection to your authentic, powerful, compassionate Self.

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Kempton, Sally. “Judgment Calls.” Yoga Journal., n.d.  Cruz Bay Publishing. Web.

Mipham, Sakyong. Ruling Your World. New York: Doubleday, 2005. Print.

Softening the Hard Edges

“Practice leads you in the right direction, while non-attachment allows you to continue the inner journey without getting sidetracked into the pains and pleasures along the way” – Swami J

Nohoch Mol, Mexico 2007

Nohoch Mol, Mexico 2007. Afraid of heights, this  climb brought many mental “distractions” to the surface.

In my practice, I am working to soften – to let go of the push of trying so hard. I began this in my asana practice and have found, like most things that start on the mat, to be leaking into different aspects of my life. Maybe you, too, have noticed that what you practice on the mat begins to infiltrate into different aspects of your life. To yield into the poses is to let go of the need to have to do them correctly, or have to be perfect. To yield and soften into the poses, is to trust that I am alright as I am. For each of us, to surrender to the moment and to place trust in the universe can be frightening and difficult.

The word yoga has several different interpretations: to unite, to yoke, to tie the strands of the mind together. In the second sutra, yoga is defined as “the ability to direct the mind exclusively toward an object and sustain that duration without any distraction” (Heart of Yoga, 149). The object is our intention, our sankalpa, our desire or goal. The distractions are life: our sorrows, our joys, whether someone likes us, whether we get positive or negative feedback from a friend, co-worker, boss, or stanger. The distractions are life experiences that we often, mistakenly, wrap our feelings of self-worth around. We are happy when someone likes us and want to hide from the world when someone doesn’t.

Yoga is a way to be completely engaged in the action of your present moment knowing that life experiences are only experiences and not a reflection of your self-value. Yoga teaches us to move steadily in the direction we want to go but without the attachment to our desire or expected outcome. This is the balance between steady effort, abhyasa, and letting go, vairagya.

I am a strong believer in persistent, patience, and consistency. To reach our dreams and goals is not an all or nothing experience but a steady climb that we achieve over time. As we pay attention to our actions, as with move with steady effort, abhyasa, we see our path, where we are going and how to get to our desired end. When we see where we are going, when we take the time to notice the present moment no longer are we caught up with the pains, the joys, the sorrows of each of our experience. We can see embrace our experience as the changing opportunity for growth without attaching our worth to the outcome. This allows us to move without gripping, with detachment, with vairagya – this allows us to soften.

Nohoch Mol at the top — steady effort and letting go

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